Don’t believe the Smiley Egg*

Mmm...free environmentally-friendly egg! AND IT'S MADE OF CHOCOLATE!!

Mmm…free environmentally-friendly egg! AND IT’S MADE OF CHOCOLATE!!

The Snail and I don’t do Easter, we do Spring (and life in general) instead, so Easter eggs are not really something we are involved with, as such. However, this year, the company I am currently contracting with (in the work sense rather than the waistline sense), decided that all those lowly minions and pensions monkeys such as myself should receive an Easter Egg each. Fortunately, such eggs are too ridiculously cheap** to be considered a bribe, so I was able to accept without a moment’s hesitation.

PLUS, I noticed, it had writ large all over it the fact that it used no plastic in it. This is eggcel, er, excellent because those annoying plastic bits that hold the egg in the box fall into the category of pointless packaging anyway.

I started eating the egg. After a bit, with sugar rushing through my veins the way politicians rush away from honest answers***, my brain needs something to read, anything, the nearest thing hand. The box… ah, yes, the box:

Good stuff...

Good stuff…

Interesting stuff. A happy egg holding a sign saying no plastic. The recycling information telling me I can recycle the card from the wrappings. Yay! The aluminium foil. Yay! The plastic. Yay! Er, WHAT??

The Smiley Egg lied!

The Smiley Egg lied!

That would be the plastic around the Kit Kat Chunky they include with every egg then. I can’t decide whether Nestle is being deliberately misleading or idiots.

Good work Nestle – you numpties!!

oOo

* This is a modification of something said by the comedian Graeme Garden on the long-running radio show, I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue. Asked to complete the advertising tagline “The stain says hot, the label says..”, he replied “don’t believe the talking stain”.

** I assume they are from battery chocolate chickens.

*** Apologies to those who don’t know that we are about to have a General Election over here in the UK. It’s hard to keep politics from seeping into everything right now.

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Categories: Writing | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Don’t believe the Smiley Egg*

  1. Nestles are ‘numpties’ you are so right! I am told that currently they are still trucking truckloads of water out of California from subterranean wells to bottle and sell back to Californians who have no water. Unbelievable!

    Like

  2. Pingback: More stealth plastic | The Snail of Happiness

  3. If I have learned nothing else in this life so far, I have managed to retain the adage “NEVER TRUST A POLITICIAN”. I can now add another one…”The smiley egg speaks with a forked tongue”.

    Liked by 1 person

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