ScrapHappy January 2023: It’s Time to Cro(chet) or A (Slip) Stitch in Time

The dodgy Crochet Clock says it's after midnight - and time to get a new clock

The dodgy Crochet Clock says it’s after midnight – and time to get a new clock

First off, a Happy New Year to my reader, I do hope the next revolution of our flaming star gives you what you want and need.

“What”, I hear you mutter to yourself, “is going on here? Mr Snail has gone soft in the Scrappy department*? Has the Universe lost all sense of up or down? Where’s my wine?”

The answers to the last two questions are “there is no up or down in space” (see The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy for clarification) and “So, you think it’s your wine, eh?”

The answer to the first question is slightly more involved.

A couple of months ago, the Snail and I decided that it would be good if I opened the shop (see here for details) on a Friday to give the Snail a well-deserved break after the rigours of Thursdays which include Knit Knight, er, Night after the shop has closed. It soon became apparent that having me open the shop meant that the Snail had a rest and I got to give dubious crafting advice to unsuspecting customers (“no, wool makes a perfect addition to a soufflé”). Armed with some notes for the novel I have managed not to publish (something that I have been greatly helped by agents’ complete lack of interest in it), I decided that I needed another procrastination activity to prevent me from actually accidently publishing it when I wasn’t looking. So I decided to teach myself crochet.

The Snail has, in the past, attempted to teach me but it has never really stuck and I have always ended up splitting the yarn, hooking my finger or accidently setting fire to the sofa. This time would be different, because we don’t have a sofa in the shop. I took** a second-hand crochet hook and some string-like yarn that we had acquired from someone’s stash, and found a book in our pre-loved book section that purported to teach you everything about crochet. It wasn’t very good if you didn’t already know exactly how to crochet so I struggled on for a bit. My plan was to make something, nothing specific, but something and present it to the Snail as a surprise. I needed another guide…

As luck would have it, a customer brought in a Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amigurumi. This book spoke to me because a) I had slightly overdone it on the sugar that morning and b) because I am a complete amigurumi. No wait, idiot.

I started again and by the end of the day, I had crocheted a thing which I decided was enough to show off to the Snail. Also, there was a term used in the book that I couldn’t find the definition of and I wanted to know. The Snail was indeed surprised, although that may have been due to the wine which I had plied her with beforehand. She explained some more things about crochet and I was away again, the following Friday.

It's a thing, you know, a THING

It’s a thing, you know, a THING

I found some different yarn from someone’s old stash, and made another thing, this time whilst practising a variety of stiches. The internet decided it was a thimble, a cyan raspberry, a tiny todger cover. I decided it was just a thing, It’s now in the shop, on a shelf, defying classification.


It’s another thing, you know, ANOTHER THING

Next, I decided to teach myself how to read patterns, and then follow one. The first thing I made was this:


What could this be? Is it a beret for a hamster?

This seemed to work, although it was supposed to be a hamster. Just kidding. The other part of the pattern has gotten me this far:


Another beret? For, say, I don’t know, an octopus, perhaps?

I am betting you may know what it is! I will post when I have completed the beret-wearing hamster, er, I mean, the thing.


* Oooh errr Missus…

** Perks of running a craft shop, and not theft from my employer in any way, shape or form.

Many other people contribute to Kate and Gun’s wonderful ScrapHappy every month – check out what they have been up to too!


KateGun, EvaSue, Lynda,
Birthe, Turid, Susan, Cathy,  Tracy, JanMoira, SandraChrisAlys,
ClaireJeanJon, DawnJuleGwen,
Sunny, Kjerstin, Sue LVera, Edith
NanetteAnn, Dawn 2, Carol, Preeti,
Amo and Alissa


Categories: Crochet, recycling, ScrapHappy | Tags: , , | 21 Comments

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21 thoughts on “ScrapHappy January 2023: It’s Time to Cro(chet) or A (Slip) Stitch in Time

  1. I tried learning knitting a couple years ago. It was complicated by trying to do it from a book; a book that only taught it from a right handed perspective; You Tube videos that confused even an ambidextrous person; and the lack of personal instruction. I wound up with a lot of greasy frayed yarn. Now crochet I can manage, but I have know idea right now with which hands in what position. This was tremendously funny. Thanks for the multiple laughs. I look forward to things developing. And the red thing looks like a potholder…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah, yes, it could be a potholder, I hadn’t thought of that! I can only imagine the difficulty of learning left-handed – being a northpaw myself, I didn’t have that hurdle to overcome. As an engineer, I am used to holding several things at once in two hands but it took me a while to sort out fingers for crochet! 😁


  2. I discovered Bella Coco on YouTube. That and charts are what taught me back in 2020.Wel done for persevering

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Going Batty in Wales

    Well done Mt Snail! Next time I come to the shop I will admire your assorted THINGS on the shelves.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. claire93

    how great to see you getting hooked!! I taught myself to crochet a few years ago and produced many a “thing” before successfully making my first amigurumi. I’m a leftie, but stubborn, and did find a few books with leftie instructions plus YT videos. I reckon, as an engineer, you’ve picked the perfect yarny craft. I love how it’s possible to make different 3D shapes by specific stitch combinations, increases & decreases . . . and really look forward to seeing more of your “things” ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    • 😁 The inherent 3D nature of crochet is something that interests me – subtle changing of tension across the yarn producing objects is pretty much like magic! I just hope I can practice enough!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Mwahahah! Welcome to the Dark Side! I knew we’d turn you Soft eventually… Having said that, well done on the hook-wielding, and I’m sure you’ve already worked out that it’s All About the Tension. As an engineer, you understand that even with The Soft, physics are at play.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have never not ended up with a huge rats nest and the sofa on fire when attempting crochet, so I am very impressed! Even a Bollard-cover must start as a bit of string, magically looped into a tiny thing…I am dreaming big on your behalf!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. obviously you are having fun – I think! Maybe if you stuff the things with frayed yarn scraps you could label them pincushions. The shop’s customers might get hooked and make some too. Looking forward to the next installment.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. that’s fabulous – just shows you how the “shop” as moved in on your senses – scraps anon

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You know this means you´ll have to make a whole zoo in the end! So keep on doing the crochete 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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